Are you worried it’s too late to save your marriage?
You've left the land of logical thinking and entered the land of blaming, accusations, emotional and physical chaos.
What if you could minimize the chaos and avoid pushing your spouse away even after a divorce has been filed?
Midlife Crisis and Divorce
When you look at the latest divorce statistics, you can see second and third divorce rates are much higher than first marriages. Add midlife crisis into the mix which typically happens between 35-45 and you have a recipe for disaster.
Today I'll help you understand how midlife crisis impacts marriage and divorce. (This applies to long-term serious relationships too).
Once you understand that selfishness is the core theme of a midlife crisis, you can clearly see that divorce is the predictable result (for many people) of this selfish force.
See if this sounds familiar...
"Move on, you deserve better. He doesn't deserve you. You're better off without her."
To you, divorce may not be an option because divorce destroys stability for your kids, financial assets, community life and everything that matters.
But to a person in a midlife crisis, they see divorce as happiness – the light at the end of a very dark tunnel.
They See YOU as the Cause of their Pain
BUT HERE'S THE TRUTH: The pain of a man or woman in midlife crisis is NOT coming from the outside, it's coming from the inside.
It is their own childhood messages of abandonment, abuse or neglect from their first 10 years that is causing them to suffer, not any outward behavior or thing you did in the past.
But a person in a midlife crisis or mental breakdown does not realize this and cannot learn it. Grab a copy my free midlife crisis guide to understand why.
Don't make the mistake of trying to teach your midlife crisis partner the truth by sending them articles, books, videos on the subject, only to find them resistant and hostile at every turn.
You can't use explanation and conversation to release your spouse from the midlife crisis and get them to come back to you.
In a midlife crisis, marriage gets a lot more complicated if you don't know what to expect.
Divorce is Predictable, Not Inevitable
If you watch my other midlife crisis videos, you would see that divorce is a predictable event.
Consider how much abandonment, abuse and neglect your spouse received during their first 10 years of life. The more stories you have of this treatment, the more likely divorce will be in your marriage.
Oddly enough, even if you were warned back when the two of you first met, you would’ve married that person anyway. This is not something you can be warned about before it happens.
This is something you must actually have happen to you and then are you're ready to listen and learn.
Change Yourself, Change Your Marriage
Midlife crisis and divorce are driven by childhood trauma.
Childhood trauma is an energy and a thought problem, not a behavior problem. It is important for you to realize that your own internal energy gives off a vibration that is immediately picked up and reacted to by your midlife crisis spouse.
It’s very common for you to feel fear, anxiety, worry, self-doubt and resentment. It's typical for you to think thoughts like these.
- Who is he talking to?
- What is she wearing?
- Where is she going?
- Did he ever love me?
The anxiety and self-doubt is written all over you whether you realize it or not.
Even as you attempt to hide those dark thoughts from your spouse, as long as they exist, the vibrations of those thoughts come out of you and put pressure on your spouse.
Your Own Energy Fuels the Midlife Crisis Fire
Suddenly, your own energy literally becomes the fuel for the midlife crisis fire.
The more you feel these emotions and give off these energies, the worse the midlife crisis symptoms become.
A better approach?
Become an Environment Changer
AI teach these ideas through my Environment Changer course to men and women whose spouse has entered a midlife crisis.
The reason I call it an environment changer is because you are changing your own internal environment.
The internal environment of your mind. That is the first change that has to take place before anything can be changed on the outside.
It’s not about behavior. It's not about changing what you do and say. What matters is what you think, what you feel and what you imagine.
If you have no control over your internal condition, you will you lose any chance to influence your midlife crisis spouse.
Learn more about this through my free online webinar for men and women.
Did this article help you fill in some missing pieces?
Let me know in the comments below what you're faced with and how this has helped you.