Why a Midlife Crisis is NOT the End of Your Marriage
Here’s How to End those Anxiety-Ridden, Sleepless Nights Dwelling on All the Hateful things Your Husband Has Said and Done, While Worrying about Your Uncertain Future
It's as if everything changed overnight. “This is not the man I married” is a frequent thought that crosses your mind as you struggle to rationalize or make sense of what has happened. Midlife crisis, depression, post-traumatic stress syndrome – whatever you want to call it, your husband is in deep emotional crisis and you have an important decision to make.
Are you going to weather the storm with your husband or throw in the towel?
Every divorce is built on the same system that is created during your first ten years of childhood. For most of us, it is during this time that the future of your marriage is “locked in” or decided. Few people have the ability to buck what was injected into their brains during those first ten critical years.
- The chaos in your parents’ marriage
- Whether or not your parents’ divorced
- The belief your parents had about divorce
- Your religious beliefs or lack thereof
- How your gender of parent treated the other
- How your parents handled conflict
All of these beliefs were determined in your first ten years. As an adult, your brain now runs a machine that keeps pushing you back there - back to a place called "Normal".
When you have very little programming with healthy instructions on how to care for your spouse, you have virtually no way to stop issues like these from invading your personal life:
- An affair
- Fights about sex
- Communication breakdown
- No loyalty
- In-law problems
- Falling out of love
- Second marriage conflict
- Angry blow ups
- No romance
- Being ignored
- Money problems
- Children problems
If you’re married to a man who has seemingly become a different person overnight, you are married to what I call a “Chaos Kid”. This is a man whose upbringing was traumatic, neglectful or chaotic. There are different degrees of neglect that create a Chaos Kid but the bottom line is this – conventional marriage advice will NOT work for Chaos Kids.
Where Do You and Your Husband Fall on the Chaos to Purpose Scale?
A Chaos Kid is angry about their childhood and that childhood anger is now directed at you. YOU have become the enemy. Everything you do and say is a threat. It doesn’t matter how good or bad you’ve been as a wife, if he was married to someone else, it would be the same story.
The 5 Rules of a Chaos Kid Husband You Need to Understand
- He says what he doesn’t mean and what he means, he doesn’t say.
- He believes his needs are more important than your needs.
- He sells himself as somebody he’s not.
- Any good thing you do or say, he sees as a threat.
- He wants what he can’t have and what he has, he doesn’t want.
In this hostile environment, you must become you at your best to avoid pushing him further away. Gifts, cards, kind words, notes and affection will only push him further away from you and add fuel to the fire.
Now that we’ve confirmed your husband is a Chaos Kid, one of the most difficult things you’ll be faced with is understanding the fact that you can’t treat him like a normal man. You’ll try to rationalize, make sense of the situation, buy cards for birthdays and holidays, apologize often, tell him you love him like you would in a normal marriage.
But Be Warned - All of These Things Will Backfire.
A Midlife Crisis is a Whole Different Ballgame
You are NOT dealing with a normal man anymore. You’ve just left the world of logical thinking and entered into the land of blaming, accusations, emotional and physical chaos.
So how are you going to weather the storm? What’s your plan?
In over 15 years of working with couples, I’ve never seen one couple where both spouses came from healthy childhoods who had conflict in their marriage they couldn’t resolve on their own.
TROUBLED CHILDHOODS = TROUBLED MARRIAGES This is not a theory, it’s a fact.
And the sooner you wrap your head around what a midlife crisis is, what to expect, how long it will last and how to survive it, the quicker you’ll get a grasp on how to weather this storm and avoid making things worse.
In today’s society, a midlife crisis is an epidemic that is rarely discussed or explained and is often rationalized as a ‘mental illness’ by psychologists or those in the medical field. I’ve studied the patterns for over 15 years of Chaos Kids and what happens when their troubled childhood comes to get them as they enter a midlife crisis.
But I want you to go through this with a plan, rather than a blindfold.
To help you do this, I’ve created a comprehensive course called...
Get instant access to this downloadable course that is delivered electronically online.
Here’s a quick look at some of the insights you’ll learn in this course:
What a Midlife Crisis REALLY Is
The men at highest risk, What causes a midlife crisis and how long will it last, Classic phrases of a Chaos Kid Man, why you should NOT listen to what he is saying
What to Do – What Not to Do
How to protect your kids from the chaos, What to do if your husband wants you to leave the house, What to do if he is having an affair, How to act around your husband when the tension is high, Critical, yet common mistakes to avoid
What to Expect During and After It's Over
The 6 stages of a midlife crisis: what to expect from your husband, The quickest path to get through a midlife crisis, The 7 phases of winning your husband back, How to anticipate the end of a midlife crisis. And much more!
Dear Mr. Bilotta,(Julia Johnson) Actual name withheld to protect her privacy
And I do mean Dear because your help has been invaluable in teaching me about my husband's midlife crisis, how to deal with it, and how to kill the monster inside me! You offered me clear, concrete ways to improve our situation. Things in our marriage have become much more stable, however, my husband is really struggling with how to bring himself out of the crisis mode and the associated stress. He's been seeing a counselor for months, but that has been no help at all, and in fact I believe the counselor is steering my husband in the wrong direction.
I thought your midlife crisis course was INCREDIBLY valuable. I changed my ways and immediately saw a response from my husband. He has been good for three weeks in a row but did lie to me yesterday and said he was working overtime when he clearly was not. How can someone so smart be so stupid? His excuses were so lame that if I weren't in such pain, it would be funny.(Megan Peterson) Actual name withheld to protect her privacy
Your suggestions seem to be working. I love how you say to picture my husband as if he is in a mental ward 🙂 That has helped. I also LOVE the man versus monster. It is so true that I can tell immediately when he is the monster and there is no use talking then. It's like someone invades his body. Thanks again Larry.
Larry is amazing! The great news was a couple a small break-throughs my husband had. He invited me and my 4 yr old on his own and he texted me while he was out with his friends tonight! He has been acting like he used to. All of the tips provided by Larry have been so helpful and they all work! I'm not stressed and I feel great actually. I just love to say you guys are amazing for what you have done and it makes me feel great that I have you for support. You are true heroes for doing what you do. Thank you! I am so grateful to have found your site, I can't thank you guys enough!(Ariana Garcia) Actual name withheld to protect her privacy
Should I Get My Husband Involved?
99% of the time, the answer to this question is no. Chaos Kids going through a midlife crisis are rarely open to new ideas, especially new ideas that come from you. Chaos Kids refuse to accept responsibility or admit that they are wrong. In fact, just the opposite is true.
If you approach your husband with this information, he will tell you that YOU are the one who needs help and that you should “go fix yourself” because you are the cause of problems in the marriage. The rare exception would be if your husband has long been going through a midlife crisis and has finally seen the damage he has inflicted on the family. At this point in time your husband may be ready to learn, but most of the time, it is best to keep this to yourself for now.
How Do I Know if My Husband is Going through a Midlife Crisis?
If the 5 rules of a Chaos Kid shown at the top of this page ring true for your husband, then he is going through a midlife crisis. While age is not always a factor, a troubled childhood home IS always a telltale sign of a midlife crisis.
What if He Has Filed for Divorce and Told Me it’s Over?
Anything your husband says to you at this point is based on the anger of his childhood. That anger is directed at you and YOU are now the enemy. Whether it is you or any other woman, your husband would STILL go through this at some point in his life. Similar to a ticking time bomb, your husband’s rage has been there since day 1 silently waiting to erupt since he was young.
For this reason, it’s important you don’t put too much emphasis on what your husband says to you right now. Chaos Kids’ emotions wildly vary from one day to the next. One day, he will want a divorce, the next, he’s certain it is over. Nothing is permanent in a midlife crisis – even divorce papers. Your focus should be on surviving the crisis, maintaining the emotional security of your children, keeping yourself healthy (both mentally and physically) and not giving up on your husband.
Does Everyone Go Through a Midlife Crisis?
Absolutely not. People who come from a troubled home who live on the higher side of the Chaos to Purpose scale (shown above) do not go through a midlife crisis. Only those on the lower end of the scale are saddled with the dark programming ‘machine’ from their past.
As an adult, this programming tries to recreate ‘normal’. If their life was filled with chaos, abuse and neglect as a kid, that is what the brain will try to recreate as an adult. We call this a midlife crisis.
How Will the Charge Appear On My Credit Card Statement?
On your credit card statement, the charge will appear as an abbreviated version of our business name, which is Life Discoveries Inc. On your statement it will show “Life Discov” or “Life Discoveries”. If you are concerned about this, you can use a prepaid Visa card or issue a money order to the address found at the bottom of this web page.
Will Anything Be Shipped To My Home?
We respect your privacy and understand discretion is important to you right now. The materials in this course are sent to you by email. Under no condition, will anything be shipped to your home – now or into the future.
1 1/2 Hour Coaching Call Audio Recording
Included in the course is a 2 hour coaching call audio recording where I walk you through “what if’s”, what to expect during your husband's midlife crisis, why this is happening, how to protect your kids and more. This comprehensive coaching call is delivered as an MP3, so you’ll be able to listen on your phone or portable device when you need inspiration most.
Wives: You’ve Been Warned - You Could Lose Your Husband to a Midlife Crisis
You’ll also get a downloadable guide for women titled “Women: You’ve Been Warned - You Could Lose Your Husband to a Midlife Crisis”. This guide acts as your roadmap covering the key points you’ll need to remember to prevent everything you do from backfiring.
Midlife Crisis Survival Kit
And finally, there is a 3-page downloadable midlife crisis survival kit that includes:
1) The “When Will He Wake Up?” timetable that helps you predict when your husband will wake up based on the 8 variables that determine the length of a midlife crisis.
2) How is Your Husband Motivated? This resource will help you see your husband based on who he is at heart so you can better relate, connect and avoid ruffling feathers over simple personality differences.
3) The 5 Do’s and 5 Don’ts to live by "Cheat Sheet":
You can print these important reminders and keep this helpful resource in your desk at work or in a safe place at home to keep you focused on what you should be doing and avoid making the mistakes that can lead to even more chaos.
PRIVACY AND DISCRETION NOTICE
We understand privacy and discretion are important to you. This is why this course is delivered electronically online, rather than shipped to your home. Nothing will be shipped to you at any time.
Once you place your order, you will be redirected to a page where you can gain access to the course materials online. You will also receive an email with a link to the private course download page so you can reference the materials later on. If you misplace this email, simply contact our office and we will send you a link to regain access to the course.
How Do I Access the Materials?
After you order, you’ll be redirected to a private page where you can instantly download the materials in the course. You’ll be able to download them to your hard drive so you can print them out and read whenever you want. You’ll also receive an email as a backup.
Once you download the materials (which only takes a few minutes), you can save them on your computer. Other than the MP3 file, the remainder of materials are delivered as a PDF file that is a readable document file you can print out.
Here’s What Mark Gungor, One Of The Most Sought-After Speakers On Marriage and Family In The Country Has To Say About Larry…
Click the ‘play’ button below to hear what Mark recently had to say about Larry Bilotta on his radio show…
Mark is Sr. Pastor of Celebration Church, a multi-site church with five campuses across Wisconsin, and the CEO of Laugh Your Way America.
Mark speaks for churches, civic events, and business meetings and is a much requested speaker for the US Army.
If you’re ready for a plan that will help you weather the storm and shorten your husband’s midlife crisis, you can access this course from the comfort of your home in under 5 minutes.
To recap, you'll be receiving:
- A 2 Hour Coaching Call Audio recording where I walk you through “what if’s”, what to expect during a midlife crisis, why this is happening, how to protect your kids and more. This comprehensive coaching call is delivered as an MP3, so you’ll be able to listen on your phone or portable device when you need inspiration most.
- The "Wives: You've Been Warned" Guide covering the key points you’ll need to remember to prevent everything you do from backfiring.
- The Midlife Crisis Survival Kit that Includes the “When Will He Wake Up?” Timetable. This timetable will help you predict when your husband will wake up based on the 8 variables that determine the length of a midlife crisis.
- When Will He Wake Up? Part 2: This resource will help you see your husband based on who he is at heart so you can better relate, connect and avoid ruffling feathers over simple personality differences.
- The 5 Do’s and 5 Don’ts to Live By "Cheat Sheet": You can print these important reminders out and keep this helpful resource in your desk at work or in a safe place at home to keep you focused on what you should be doing and avoid making the mistakes that can lead to chaos.
You’re Not Crazy, It’s Not All Your Fault, But it IS Your Responsibility to Do Something If You Really Do Want This Man
If you have children, they need you to hold this family together. And when you least expect it, your husband WILL throw you a major curve-ball that will rock your world (even worse than what you’ve already seen). It's only a matter of time.
And you need to be prepared for this when it happens. But you don’t need to let your family become another divorce statistic, giving up on the man you love just yet. Deep down beneath the layers of anger is a man who needs you right now. If you have children, they need you now more than ever. A midlife crisis is a hostile experience to go through and one thing is for sure, just like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, you’re not in Kansas anymore.
A Midlife crisis is a whole different world with different rules and different expectations that require a very different approach than most conventional marriage help would lead you to believe.
Because I want to make this midlife crisis survival plan affordable for you, I’m making it available to you for a one-time investment of $97. But I’m also throwing in some extra added bonuses to help you…
"Unraveling the Chaos: How to Survive Your Husband's Midlife Crisis" PLUS ALL the bonuses, is available to you today for $97.
I want to eliminate any and all risk for you. You’ve probably purchased products online before, not knowing how good they actually are until you open them. I believe in my course so much that I’m backing it up with a 30 day guarantee. If you don’t learn anything new from this course, I’m not going to charge you a dime.
Our 30 Day 100% Money Back Guarantee
Go through the entire course and if it’s not what you expected, simply send me an email and I will refund your payment in full. I can’t be any fairer than that.
1) A 2 Hour Coaching Call Audio recording where I walk you through “what if’s”, what to expect during a midlife crisis, why this is happening, how to protect your kids and more. This comprehensive coaching call is delivered as an MP3, so you’ll be able to listen on your phone or portable device when you need inspiration most.
2) The "Wives: You've Been Warned" Guide covering the key points you’ll need to remember to prevent everything you do from backfiring.
3) The Midlife Crisis Survival Kit that includes the “When Will He Wake Up?” Timetable. This timetable will help you predict when your husband will wake up based on the 8 variables that determine the length of a midlife crisis.
4) When Will He Wake Up? Part 2: This resource will help you see your husband based on who he is at heart so you can better relate, connect and avoid ruffling feathers over simple personality differences.
5) The 5 Do’s and 5 Don’ts to Live By "Cheat Sheet": You can print these important reminders out and keep this helpful resource in your desk at work or in a safe place at home to keep you focused on what you should be doing and avoid making the mistakes that can lead to more chaos.
Author of "How to Survive Your Husband’s Midlife Crisis"
P.S. There is nothing shipped to you, so you don’t have to worry about your husband finding out about this course and you don’t have to wait for it to arrive either. You’ll get access to the entire course and all 3 bonuses immediately after you order.
P.P.S. No matter what country you live in, the language, events, happenings and pain of a midlife crisis are universal. You have my support and you are backed by my 100% satisfaction guarantee for a full 30 days, so you’ve got nothing to lose and a much greater understanding of the pain that the love of your life is going through right now and why he (and your kids) desperately need your help.