How To Survive Your Wife's Midlife Crisis

Why a Midlife Crisis is Not the End of Your Marriage

Has your wife suddenly become a woman you no longer recognize?

It's as if everything changed overnight. “This is not the woman I married” is a frequent thought that crosses your mind as you struggle to rationalize or make sense of what has happened to your marriage.

Midlife crisis, depression, post-traumatic stress syndrome – whatever you want to call it, your wife is in deep emotional crisis and you have an important decision to make.

Are you going to weather the storm with your wife or throw in the towel?

Every divorce is built on the same system that is created during your first ten years of childhood.  For most of us, it is during this time that the future of your marriage is “locked in” or decided.  Few people have the ability to buck what was injected into their brains during those first ten critical years.

Signs and Symptoms of a Woman in Midlife Crisis

What does a midlife crisis look like? If your wife is going through a midlife crisis, these are the typical symptoms of a MLC.

  • She says she needs to "find herself".
  • She is very angry and says "it's over".
  • She is convinced her new life will be fantastic compared to the one with you.
  • She cares only about herself.
  • She has lost weight and/or put emphasis on improving herself.
  • It seems like an alien has taken over your wife's body.
  • She is hiding everything from you.
  • She is determined to get everything she wants.
  • She is having an affair.
  • Her recollection of past events are completely different than yours.
  • She says she needs space and/or has moved out of your home.
  • She acts like a 17 year old rebelling against her parents.
  • She is distant, depressed and views you as the enemy.
  • She is tired of being the care taker.
  • She stays out late without explanation.
  • There is no rationalizing with her.
  • She has lost her mothering abilities and thinks "the kids will be fine".
  • She has lost every ounce of compassion for immediate family.

When you have very little programming with healthy instructions on how to care for your spouse, you have virtually no way to stop issues like these from invading your personal life:

  • An affair
  • Fights about sex
  • Communication breakdown
  • No loyalty
  • In-law problems
  • Falling out of love
  • Second marriage conflict
  • Depression
  • Abuse
  • Angry blow ups
  • No romance
  • Being ignored
  • Money problems
  • Children problems

I Invite You to Watch This Free Video Presentation...

3 Common Mistakes Men Make When their Wife Says "It's Over"

Watch the FREE video presentation for men that reveals the 3 mistakes men make when their wife says "it's over".

It doesn’t matter if your wife files for divorce tomorrow or 1 year from now. You can always get another marriage, another legal document…but you can’t get another woman just like your wife. It’s up to you to create a new relationship out of the ashes of the old one.

video placeholder
Watch Video Presentation for Men

Win Your Wife's Heart Back WITHOUT Her Participation

Are you worried it's too late to save your marriage? Despite what your family, friends (and even marriage counselors) say, you CAN win her back, even if...

  • 1

    She's in a midlife crisis

    If your wife no longer resembles the woman you married, it’s likely she is in a midlife crisis. The good news? A midlife crisis is NOT the end of your marriage.

  • 2

    She's having an affair

    If your wife is having an affair, you CAN win her heart back again by “becoming the boyfriend” again. Watch the video to learn how.

  • 3

    She has already filed for divorce

    The legal agreement of divorce does not mean you can’t rebuild the trust and win your wife’s heart back. She can be won over again IF you avoid making the mistakes outlined in this video.

  • 4

    She says she doesn't love you anymore

    Your wife says cruel, hurtful things as an attempt to push you away and ultimately get relief from the pressure she is feeling. Despite what most people think, this is NOT a deal breaker!

Before I go on, I want to answer some common questions that are likely on your mind right now.

  • q-iconShould I Get My Wife Involved?

    99% of the time, the answer to this question is no. Chaos Kids going through a midlife crisis are rarely open to new ideas, especially new ideas that come from you. Chaos Kids refuse to accept responsibility or admit that they are wrong. In fact, just the opposite is true.

    If you approach your wife with this information, she will tell you that YOU are the one who needs help and that you should “go fix yourself” because you are the cause of problems in the marriage. The rare exception would be if your wife has long been going through a midlife crisis and has finally seen the damage she has inflicted on the family. At this point in time your wife may be ready to learn, but most of the time, it is best to keep this to yourself for now.

  • q-iconHow Do I Know if My Wife is Going through a Midlife Crisis?

    If the 5 rules of a Chaos Kid shown at the top of this page ring true for your wife, then she is going through a midlife crisis. While age is not always a factor, a troubled childhood home IS always a telltale sign of a midlife crisis.

  • q-iconWhat if She Has Filed for Divorce and Told Me it’s Over?

    Anything your wife says to you at this point is based on the anger of her childhood. That anger is directed at you and YOU are now the enemy. Whether it is you or any other man, your wife would STILL go through this at some point in her life. Similar to a ticking time-bomb, your wife’s rage has been there since day 1 silently waiting to erupt since she was young.

    For this reason, it’s important you don’t put too much emphasis on what your wife says to you. Chaos Kids’ emotions wildly vary from one day to the next. One day, she will want a divorce, the next, she’s certain it is over. Nothing is permanent in a midlife crisis – even divorce papers. Your focus should be on surviving the crisis, maintaining the emotional security of your children, keeping yourself healthy (both mentally and physically) and not giving up on the love of your life.

  • q-iconDoes Everyone Go Through a Midlife Crisis?

    Absolutely not. People who come from a troubled home who live on the higher side of the Chaos to Purpose scale (shown above) do not go through a midlife crisis. Only those on the lower end of the scale are saddled with the dark programming ‘machine’ from their past.

    As an adult, this programming tries to recreate ‘normal’. If their life was filled with chaos, abuse and neglect as a kid, that is what the brain will try to recreate as an adult. We call this a midlife crisis.

Thank you Larry,

Everything I read from you is encouraging and is helping me recover from my mid life crisis. Just knowing that I am a CHAOS KID is helping me gain self confidence, which has always been low because of what my parents imprinted in my sub conscience. I also appreciated your point of money not bringing happiness. Although a necessity, true happiness, like you said, is from helping others and giving of yourself freely.

Ken H.

Whether or Not You Will Be Happily Married is a Result of Several RISK Factors:

  • The chaos in your parents’ marriage
  • Whether or not your parents’ divorced
  • The belief your parents had about divorce
  • Your religious beliefs or lack thereof
  • How your gender of parent treated the other
  • How your parents handled conflict

All of these beliefs were determined in your first ten years. As an adult, your brain now runs a machine that keeps pushing you back there - back to a place called "Normal".

If you’re married to a woman who has seemingly become a different person overnight, you are married to what I call a “Chaos Kid”. This is a woman whose upbringing was traumatic, neglectful or chaotic. There are different degrees of neglect that create a Chaos Kid but the bottom line is this – conventional marriage advice will NOT work for Chaos Kids.

Where Do You and Your Wife Fall on the Chaos to Purpose Scale?

A Chaos Kid is angry about their childhood and that childhood anger is now directed at you. YOU have become the enemy. Everything you do and say is a threat. It doesn’t matter how good or bad you’ve been as a husband, if she was married to someone else, it would be the same story.

There Are 5 Rules of a Chaos Kid Wife You Need to Understand

  1. She says what she doesn’t mean and what she means, she doesn’t say.
  2. She believes her needs are more important than your needs.
  3. She sells herself as somebody she’s not.
  4. Any good thing you do or say, she sees as a threat.
  5. She wants what she can’t have and what she has, she doesn’t want.

In this hostile environment, you must become you at your best to avoid pushing her further away. Gifts, cards, kind words, notes and affection will only push her  further away from you and add fuel to the fire.

Now that we’ve confirmed your wife is a Chaos Kid, one of the most difficult things you’ll be faced with is understanding the fact that you can’t treat her like a normal woman. You’ll try to rationalize, make sense of the situation, buy cards for birthdays and holidays, apologize often, tell her you love her like you would in a normal marriage.

But Be Warned - All of These Things Will Backfire. A Midlife Crisis is a Whole Different Ballgame

You are NOT dealing with a normal woman anymore. You’ve just left the world of logical thinking and entered into the land of blaming, accusations, emotional and physical chaos.

So how are you going to weather the storm? What’s your plan?

There are a lot of misconceptions around the idea of a midlife crisis. Some people think only men go through a midlife crisis. Others hear “midlife crisis” and a middle-aged businessman driving off into the sunset with his twenty-something girlfriend comes to mind.

But the reality is, ALL Chaos Kids, both men and women, go through a midlife crisis.

If Your Wife Came From a Troubled Home, It’s Not a Question of IF; it’s Now a Matter of WHEN.

In over 15 years of working with couples, I’ve never seen one couple where both spouses came from healthy childhoods who had conflict in their marriage they couldn’t resolve on their own.

TROUBLED CHILDHOODS = TROUBLED MARRIAGES This is not a theory, it’s a fact.

And the sooner you wrap your head around what a midlife crisis is, what to expect, how long it will last and how to survive it, the quicker you’ll get a grasp on how to weather this storm and avoid making things worse.

In today’s society, a midlife crisis is an epidemic that is rarely discussed or explained and is often rationalized as a ‘mental illness’ by psychologists or those in the medical field. I’ve studied the patterns for over 15 years of Chaos Kids and what happens when their troubled childhood comes to get them as they enter a midlife crisis.

But I want you to go through this with a plan, rather than a blindfold.

To help you do this...

Why Listen To Larry Bilotta?

Both I and my wife Marsha are Chaos Kids.

I spent 27 years in a marriage made in Hell, but in the 28th year, fell in love with my wife and today we’re still married over 40 years.

I paid a price to get the answers I’m sharing with you today and I don’t want you to have to go through what I did – lost, confused, angry and worried about your uncertain future. For over 15 years, I’ve since made it my life’s work to demystify the source of human behavior and spread the word about the Chaos Kid Phenomenon and the idea that troubled homes create troubled marriages.

I’ve helped thousands of men learn to control their emotions, win their wife’s heart back and attract her back like no other man can. If you’re ready to get your hands on a plan that will help you weather the storm and shorten your wife’s midlife crisis, you can access this course from the comfort of your home in under 5 minutes.

Marriage Authority Larry Bilotta Happily Married Over 40 Years

Marriage Authority Larry Bilotta Happily Married Over 40 Years


As Seen On

Here’s What Mark Gungor, One Of The Most Sought-After Speakers On Marriage and Family In The Country Has To Say About Larry…

Mark GungorClick the ‘play’ button below to hear what Mark had to say about Larry Bilotta on his radio show

Mark is Sr. Pastor of Celebration Church, a multi-site church with five campuses across Wisconsin, and the CEO of Laugh Your Way America.

Mark speaks for churches, civic events, and business meetings and is a much requested speaker for the US Army.

You’re Not Crazy, It’s Not All Your Fault, But it IS Your Responsibility to Do Something If You Really Do Want This Woman

If you have children, they need you to hold this family together. And when you least expect it, your wife WILL throw you a major curve-ball that will rock your world (even worse than what you’ve already seen). It's only a matter of time.

And you need to be prepared for this when it happens. You don’t need to let your family become another divorce statistic, giving up on the woman you love just yet. Deep down beneath the layers of anger is a woman who needs you right now. If you have children, they need you now more than ever. A midlife crisis is a hostile experience to go through and one thing is for sure, just like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, you’re not in Kansas anymore.

A Midlife crisis is a whole different world with different rules and different expectations that require a very different approach than most conventional marriage help would lead you to believe.

Enter your name and email below to watch the FREE video that reveals the 3 mistakes men make when their wife files for divorce.

Watch Video Presentation for Men