The 6 Stages of Your Wife’s Midlife Crisis

Before I explain the 6 stages of a female midlife crisis, I want you to realize that your wife WILL go through them. If you are not what I call an Environment Changer, you will not be able to shorten this process. That means you must get through it and that will take 2 to 5 years. Also remember that these stages are not completely distinct. They can blend together and sometimes completely overlap. You will see stage two happening in one week and stage 3 happening in the next.

Throughout these stages, you might see some of the following symptoms of your wife's midlife crisis.

The beginning of her crisis begins with a crisis. Don’t be too concerned about what kind of crisis it is but I will give you an idea of what this might be based on my hundreds of interviews.

• Her mother could move in with you while you are losing your job
• Her mother, father, or important family member passes away
• She or someone she loves experiences a major accident
• She experiences a big change in career
• The two of you experience a long distance move
• One or both children move out of your home
• She is diagnosed with an illness
• And the list goes on.

Any of these are typical situations that could launch your wife into a midlife crisis.  The beginning of the midlife crisis is usually one or two dramatic issues that cause her to collapse emotionally.

In Stage 2, the monster within that now controls her body seeks to blame you for every bad thing that’s happening. This is designed to keep you flustered and standing on one foot. The purpose here is to increase the number of reasons why she should divorce you. That means that out of her mouth will come many judgments, unfair comparisons, exaggerations of past behaviors and anything else that will help generate “against energy” in you.

Since you know that stage 2 is meant to push you away, you must learn to stay very calm and accept that some entity has taken over her body in order to destroy your family. Staying very calm and accepting everything is the job you must do, but you might discover that there is also a monster in you as well.

The monster within you is determined to connect with that monster in her. If you don’t kill off this dark thing within you, it will be very tough to get your wife back to her true self.

This is the stage where she is determined to get free of you and this stage can take on many variations depending on how she was raised. If her childhood has a great deal of chaos,  her mother divorced before she was 10, and her biological father abandoned her, then she will be getting out of town starting with moving out of your house.

She will be insistent that she cannot go anywhere near you. Again, depending on the chaos in her childhood, a high chaos girl will disappear on you in this stage. She won’t return your calls or texts.

If you are angry at this behavior, you will be generating against energy. That will not serve you well at all. If you still want the girl at this stage, it’s because you see a difference between the girl you love and the entity that is now controlling her body much like a possession in a horror movie.

This is the stage where your wife takes on various vindictive behaviors. Most of these will be to get you to pay financially for the things she believes you owe her. Depending on the girl, she could make many financial demands through her attorney such as requiring that you pay both lawyers.

It also could be that you emotionally owe her for past hurts and she wants revenge. That could take many forms depending on how she was raised. No matter what twists this stage takes, watch for a focus on getting back at you financially.

In Stage 5, she will be seeking out ways to let you know that she is much happier now because she has a new boyfriend, a new apartment, a new career, a new engagement, a new something. This is the “show off” stage where she finds ways to communicate through friends, through family members or even directly that you suppressed her entire life and now that you are out of it, she is much happier than ever before because you are gone.

Like the song, “Somebody I Used to Know”, she has done what she promised and moved on with her life. She has turned you into a distant memory of someone she used to know. She does not bring you up to anyone and if you have children together, she will never admit you meant anything to her.

I can’t say this next point enough because men don’t hear me very well when I make the point.

The point is this: the entity that is driving this supremely self-centered behavior has taken all of her childhood pain and blamed it all on you.

Your wife actually believes it's all your fault because she has no clue what else could have led to her bottomless pit of unhappiness and despair.

That’s why a midlife crisis in a woman is completely unfair to her husband (unless he’s abusive, etc. and an extreme chaos kid himself). I’m assuming you are not that man. Otherwise you wouldn’t be reading this.

You are probably a real nice guy who treated her exactly the way your father treated your mother in your first ten years. Your mother could handle it from your dad, but your wife could not accept you being like him.

If you are looking for a way to shorten your wife's midlife crisis, I would suggest that you watch the video presentation that covers many of the concepts I teach, bringing it all together into a message on why this is happening and what you can do to “save the girl”.

In this hostile environment, you must become you at your best to avoid pushing her further away. Gifts, cards, kind words, notes and affection will only push her  further away from you and add fuel to the fire.

Now that we’ve confirmed your wife is a Chaos Kid, one of the most difficult things you’ll be faced with is understanding the fact that you can’t treat her like a normal woman. You’ll try to rationalize, make sense of the situation, buy cards for birthdays and holidays, apologize often, tell her you love her like you would in a normal marriage.